Expressing yourselves might be a hard task for many of us, especially at events like funerals. It is hard to find the words of sympathy, especially when you are in a state of grief. We get anxious the moment we try to express ourselves and how others will perceive it. You might be wondering that is there a better way to say it? Will they be upset if I say something wrong? According to Michael Scarpaci, a stakeholder at funeral services in Staten Island, there are a few things that you can on a funeral to honor the deceased without hurting the sentiments of anyone.
The first thing you must keep in mind is that you are there to support them. Losing a loved one all of a sudden can be stressful for the family members. The words should come straight from the heart, and the grieving must know that you are with them during thick and thin.
What to say at a funeral?
Try to stay as much relaxed as possible while grieving, and you don't have to say anything perfect. Words must be expressed from the heart.
Michael Scarpaci has given different examples that can be used to express the thoughts at a funeral:
I am sorry for the loss.
You and your near and dear ones are in my thoughts and prayers
If your family needs anything, I am there for you.
(Insert Name) brought joy to everyone and will be truly missed.
Try not to say the following things:
He or she is in a better place now
I know how you feel
At least the deceased is no longer suffering
Be strong
It is time for him to go
Finding the words of sympathy at a funeral is a delicate issue, says Michael Scarpaci. They must be planned before expressing them to the family of the deceased to avoid hurting their sentiments.
Wednesday, 9 September 2020
What to Say while Attending a Funeral?
Friday, 4 September 2020
Funeral Etiquettes by Scarpaci Funeral Home Services
During funerals, family and loved ones come together to mourn the loss of a loved one. It can be hard on people when the loss is unexpected, as it can even take a toll on their health. Funerals are a sensitive matter. Hence it is expected that proper behavior is shown while attending the funeral of a deceased. It includes dressing up well and showing compassion while visiting the funeral home to show utmost respect to the dead. Hiring the services of a trustworthy funeral home is also essential to conduct the event smoothly. Michael Scarpaci shares a few etiquettes that you must obey while visiting a funeral service:
Cell phone manners - Keeping your phone on ringing mode is not acceptable while attending a funeral as it is a very intimate event. It is advised to limit attending calls during the event or to only participate in urgent needs.
Bringing kids to the funeral - If you have children at home who are relatively young to follow appropriate funeral behavior, then it is advised not to bring them along. Funeral services can be difficult for children to infer, so you must avoid tagging them along. Michael Scarpaci explains that funeral services can be intimidating for children. They may not be prepared to deal with such a situation so early in their lives. So it’s better to hire a babysitter for a couple of hours.
Do not post on social media - Funerals can be a very personal event. Relatives of the deceased such as cousins might come together to console each other. Make sure you don’t start posting pictures and videos on social media as it might be an invasion of privacy. Staying low key is the best resort while attending funerals.
Funerals can be tough to attend, as an individual has to go through a lot emotionally. Death might come as a sudden shock if it is unexpected. Hence you must try to be decisive and take care of the loved ones of the deceased. Planning the funeral at an excellent funeral home such as Scarpaci funeral home in Staten Island helps you get rid of unnecessary hassle during a funeral.
Thursday, 20 August 2020
Guide by Michael Scarpaci to Make Proper Funeral Arrangements
Death of a loved one is one of the most significant losses a person goes through. The person is very close to us, and it is hard for us to believe that they are no longer with us. You are grieving, and at the same time, you take the responsibility of making the funeral arrangements for the deceased one. Michael Scarpaci, a stakeholder at Scarpaci Funeral Home Services, can help you during these difficult times. Follow the guidelines given by Michael Scarpaci, rendering top-notch funeral services in Staten Island that can help you arrange a beautiful and unique funeral for the loved one:
Make the first calls: Making the first call entirely depends on the circumstances of the person's death. Make the first call to the appropriate parties and get the deceased to the funeral home.
Look for pre-arrangements: Certain people plan their funeral well in advance. The funeral service must plan the events as per the requirements of the deceased. Check if the deceased has made any pre plan funeral arrangements. If he or she has, it will take the burden of making the funeral arrangements as per their preferences off of your shoulder.
Cemetery arrangements: It is essential to plan the cemetery arrangements well in advance as the deceased would be buried there. In case they haven't planned, have a word with the cemetery officials to purchase the interment property (Grave plot, a niche for an urn). Michael Scarpaci can make the desired cemetery arrangements on behalf of your family.
Select funeral and memorial products: It is vital to select the right merchandise(Casket, Burial vault, urn, etc.) while making the funeral arrangements. No one wants the trouble to take place during the last minute. You want to bid memorable adieu to your loved one.
Handle estate and administrative matters: After organizing the funeral, it is essential to handle the estate and administrative matters of the deceased properly. Tasks such as sending death notes, filing death benefit claims, and changing the title on the deceased's assets must be done promptly.
Follow these tips given by Michael Scarpaci, offering the best funeral services in Staten Island. Planning the funeral well in advance will keep you organized. Celebrate the life of the deceased by making funeral arrangements that resonate with their interests and life.
Thursday, 5 March 2020
What are the benefits of prepaying your funeral?
Once the person dies, the next important step is arranging a funeral ceremony. It takes lots of planning, preparation, and decisions, which may become chaotic for some people. Besides emotional burden, often families also experience financial problems after the loss of their loved ones, especially if he/she was the only one earning bed and butter for the family. Therefore, in such situations, arranging a funeral service can further add on to their financial burden, says Michael Scarpaci.
If you don’t want to put your loved ones through financial difficulties after your death, then prepaying your funeral is the best way. Well, prepaying your funeral comes with several benefits. By doing this, you can not only take care of the cost but also plan a desirable funeral ceremony. Michael Scarpaci and his team, at Scarpaci Funeral Home of Staten Island, have helped a number of clients organize their funeral and memorial services.
Are you still confused about whether to choose a pre-paid funeral or not? If yes, then below are some of the reasons by Michael why prepaying your funeral is beneficial.
Peace of mind - There is nothing more comforting than knowing that everything will be in order, even after your death. Of course, your family and friends will always miss your presence. But at least, they won’t be dealing with finances to arrange your funeral when life already will be chaos.
By prepaying your funeral, you can lessen the financial burden on your loved ones during a difficult time. Don’t forget to tell your friends and family the details of the funeral home where you have pre-planned your funeral.
Plan a desirable funeral - Almost everyone has some thoughts about their funeral ceremony. For example, you probably want your family and friends to play your favorite music, use your favorite flowers for decoration or bury/cremate your body.
With so many things to manage during the funeral, your loved ones may forget to use your favorite flowers or play your favorite music. Therefore, it is best to leave your funeral ceremony planning to professionals. By pre-planning your funeral, you can tell your wishes to the funeral home manager, such as the theme, the venue, the flowers, the music and more. However, make sure you involve your loved ones in funeral planning, as it plays an important role in grieving.
It saves you money - Another major advantage of prepaying your funeral is that you can save a lot of money. When you plan ahead and prepay your funeral, you pay according to the current price and the cost of the funeral will rise due to any reasons, even inflation.
In closing
When it comes to prepaying your funeral, it is not only empowering but also brings a great sense of peace of mind. This is because your loved ones don’t have to experience financial and decision making stress after your death. Instead, they can take part in your funeral, which is an important part of grieving.
Wednesday, 26 February 2020
Attending a funeral ceremony? Swap those flowers with these alternatives
Today, people are ditching the old ways of celebrating the deceased's life. From playing their favorite music to using their personalized things for decoration and cooking their favorite meal, these are some of the ways people choose to celebrate the lives of their loved ones. Michael Scarpaci, at Scarpaci Funeral Home of Staten Island, has been helping people arrange customized funeral ceremonies for them and their families.
Although flowers have been associated with funerals for many years, people have started to swap them with other alternatives due to various reasons. Maybe your bereaved friend doesn’t like flowers or flower arrangements may not seem an ideal way to show your love and affection.
If you’ve recently lost a close friend or family member and they don’t like the idea of keeping wilted flowers days or weeks after the funeral, then you may want to choose an alternative to sympathy flowers.
The following are the alternatives to sympathy flowers that you can choose to show your love and respect towards your bereaved loved one.
A potted plant - One of the major disadvantages of flower arrangements is that they wilt after a few days and eventually die. It is often disheartening for the deceased’s family to throw those flowers away. This is why unlike flower arrangements that are usually thrown to the dust bin, a potted plant can last longer and brighten up a room. However, it is advisable to choose a plant that requires minimum care and water to survive.
A charitable donation - These days, people are choosing to make a charitable donation then spending money on lifeless flower arrangements. After all, it is always better to opt for a cause that is close to the heart of your deceased loved one. For example, if your loved one was suffering from a particular disease, you can donate to organizations or charities helping people with cure and care.
Food - Another great way to tell the bereaved that you care is cooking food. It is one of the best ways to lend your support to the grieving family, as food would be the last thing they would be thinking after the loss. Therefore, you can either cook food for the bereaved or send a basket of muffins and cookies. Or, if you’re looking for a healthy option, a fruit basket is also a great option.
In closing
If you’re looking for a unique way to show your love and respect to the bereaved, then choosing one of these options is the best idea.
Friday, 2 August 2019
Michael Scarpaci:Everything you need to know about the wake!
Tuesday, 16 July 2019
Insight into memorial service etiquette by Michael Scarpaci
Friday, 5 July 2019
Frequently asked questions about funeral pre-planning By Michael Scarpaci
Friday, 14 June 2019
5 ideas by Michael Scarpaci to make your loved one’s funeral personalized
Thursday, 2 May 2019
Insight into the importance of death certificates by Michael Scarpaci
Here are the top reasons by Michael Scarpaci why do you need a death certificate.
- Veterans benefits
- Insurance policies
- Property ownership
- Social Security Administration
- Testament and Last Will
- Union benefits
- Pension plans
- Treasury Bills
- Individual Retirement Account
- Safe deposit box
- Bonds, stocks, or brokerage accounts
- The beneficiary of a savings account
- Internal Revenue Service
- Post office
People who are eligible to receive death certificates include:
- Children
- Parents
- Spouses
- Grandchildren
- Legal guardians
- Siblings
- State and Federal agencies for legal purposes
Typically, there are three ways you can obtain certified copies of a death certificate:
- You can get it through the funeral home that manages the funeral or memorial service arrangements.
- With the help of the Department of Health’s Vital Statistics and Registry website.
- From the local registrar at the municipality where the death occurred.
Thursday, 28 February 2019
Tips on overcoming funeral fears by Michael Scarpaci
You’re not alone to feel that way. Many people live with the fears to attend to funeral service.
According to Michael Scarpaci manager of Scarpaci funeral home in Staten Island, funeral fears
may also cause you to think whether or not you should attend the funeral. However,these fears
shouldn’t keep you from honoring a deceased person and bidding farewell.
There are a number of reasons that you could feel stressful with the thoughts of attending a
funeral service. For instance, a person with social anxiety might not feel comfortable
attending a funeral ceremony where they have to meet or interact with various people.
If you’re struggling with funeral nerves, Michael Scarpaci has given tips to overcome funeral
fears. Read further!
Talk about your fears and anxieties - The best way to calm your funeral nerves is to talk about
your fears and anxieties you feel while attending a funeral. You can open up about your fears
with your family member or a close friend to let some of the stress away and to cope with your
emotions better.
your emotions. There is no need to suppress your tears or maintain your self-control while attending
a funeral ceremony. Don’t be scared of what will people think if you get carried away with your
emotions during a funeral service. Don’t worry! People will understand.
you have a friend or partner who can accompany you at the funeral. This way you will not alone
in the funeral service. With a helping hand and some support, it can be helpful and comforting for
you to deal with your emotion.
has been gaining popularity in the US. Losing a friend or a family member can lead to a distressing
time. So, having dogs in a funeral service can help people to relax for a while and distracting from
an overwhelming emotional time.
you can use to regulate your breathing and feel restful. On the other hand, aromatherapy oils
like chamomile or lavender and a hot bath can also be a soothing way to prepare yourself to
attend a funeral ceremony.
Monday, 28 January 2019
Tips For Guests At Funeral By Expert Michael Scarpaci
- Take all the care to make sure that you arrive on time:- One of the most basic tips that need to followed no matter who you are is punctuality. Arriving on time is important. It means that you not only respect the deceased but also their family members. Thus, calculate the time it would take you to reach the funeral home and add in the time for obstacles such as traffic or detours. Also take in to account the accessibility of parking or how long does it take for you to reach the place. Make sure that you reach at least ten minutes before the ceremony is about to start. In case you are late, enter quietly. Do not create any ruckus.
- Turn off your electronic devices:- Any device with its notifications sounds, even at lowest volume, disrupts a funeral ceremony. Keeping your electronic devices on ringing means that you and your time are more important than the deceased and their family. Keep your phone on silent and do not answer it during the ceremony. Wait until the ceremony is over and then answer the phone by going outside.
- Dress properly:- Dressing right is another important aspect of funeral etiquette. Traditionally, black is the color of funeral. However, if a situation arises and you are unable to wear black, find a subdued color in your wardrobe and wear it. Make sure that your attire is conservative. Avoid wearing jeans or any kind of revealing clothes. Avoid hot and happening colors such as red, yellow, orange and more. Do not wear extremely high heels. If you are confused, then think about corporate interview and wear what you would choose to wear there.
- Respect the cultural and religious choices of deceased and their family:- If you are invited to a funeral ceremony for someone who had different religious practice than you, google beforehand about it. This way you will know what to expect. It will also make you feel more relaxed.
- What to do if you have to bring your children?:- Funeral are adult events. However, if you have to bring in your children, make sure you talk to them beforehand so they know how to behave and what to expect. Tell them that they will have to sit quietly and not to talk during ceremony.
Sunday, 4 November 2018
4 Tips To Navigate Go Through A Funeral Reception By Michael Scarpaci
- Plan the reception thoroughly in advance:- The first thing that needs to be properly done is the planning of the reception. Managing the grief is tough but do not let it get in the way of giving the loved one a proper send off. Make sure the catering is organized and all the work is done so that you can mourn with others. Even a small disarrangement or problem could lead to state of heightened grief.
- Keep your outfit simple:- Attire plays a huge role in the funeral reception. Right outfit keeps you from feeling uncomfortable. Wear the dress and shoes that are comfortable and somber for the occasion. Try to think your outfit ahead of the time. Many people keep an extra outfit to ensure that they can change when they want to.
- Surround yourself with support:- Generally a funeral is only for the friends and family of the deceased which means that there are going to be a variety of people that you may like and a few you do not. If you feel out of the place, surround yourself with the people you love and who are able to understand you grieving and mourning.
- Maintain distance from conflict:- Having a conflict in a funeral is rough. It will not only affect your mental well being but that of the loved ones attending the funeral. People respond differently to the stress of losing someone. It is not only the loss of the loved one but the pressure of the funeral expenses, finances and the unresolved conflicts that often lay dormant until the funeral. Thus, before you feel yourself lashing out. Avoid the conflict and be polite to everyone you see.
Thursday, 20 September 2018
Choosing A Perfect Song For The Funeral Of Your Loved Ones - Michael Scarpaci
Of course, you want a song that won’t be noticeable or offensive to anyone, still want it to be pacifying, and that offers comfort to the people arrived at the funeral service. Most of the people spend a considerable amount of time to think of a meaningful song which reflects the deceased personality well. For many people, music is the most momentous part of a funeral service and is usually what people remember the most. It’s essential to choose the best funeral songs so that dead ones will always be associated with the particular piece of music.
The following is a quick guide to choosing funeral songs.
- Make it personal - If you want to add a personal and unique touch to the funeral, music is probably the most ideal way to do so. Make sure you pick songs that complement the personality of the decedent, even if they don’t seem to be perfect funeral choices. Look for music or song that the person used to enjoy listening to.
- Focus on the lyrics - While choosing a funeral song, it’s important to focus on the lyrics or read them carefully. You must choose a song with good lyrics. Some songs come with lyrics that are unsuitable for the occasion, or they might fail to represent death in a way that concurs with your beliefs. Lyrics are considered to be the most important part of a song and are very significant, so make sure the song you choose doesn’t offend the attendees at the funeral service.
- Set the tone - Music can really help to set the mood of any of any event, so should keep in mind how you want people to feel - uplifting, poignant, reminiscent, or comforting? Even humorous songs can be played to make people laugh if that’s what your departed loved one wished. You can set two different tones with the music, used at the start and the end of the service and most attendees appreciate the contrast.
Monday, 20 August 2018
Why you should opt for a funeral pre-planning?
- Your wishes are taken into consideration:- One of the most important reasons why people opt for pre planning is because the funeral can easily be planned according to the choices of the planner. If you want to be cremated or buried, you just have to tell the funeral director and fill in your forms. The director of the funeral home will make sure that all your wishes are carried out.
- Pre-planning helps the loved ones grieve:- Sudden death of the loved one puts the family in the grieving. Funeral planning through the grief can affect its process. Pre-planning removes the burden of planning through the grief. With a pre-planned funeral, the family members can easily process through their grief without worrying about anything. Also with pre-planning there are no delays after the death and all the procedures and ceremonies are done on time.
- Financial relief:- Another leading benefit of pre-planning is the financial relief for the family. As all the funeral expenses are paid in advance. This way the family members do not have to worry about any last minute or abrupt costs. By pre-planning the funeral in advance you can save money as your plan would be saved from any future increase of the prices.
Monday, 23 July 2018
Tips For Attending A Catholic Funeral By Michael Scarpaci
If you are attending a Catholic funeral for the first time, there are a few things that you should follow in order not to hurt the sentiments of religious family. Here are a few tips you should follow while arranging or attending a Catholic funeral.
- Do not panic:- If you are arranging the funeral, try not to get overwhelmed by the details. Slow the thing and allow yourself to breathe.
- Do not waste money:- One of the reasons behind family feuds at the funerals is the wrong use and mismanagement of money. Concentrate on the things that actually count. Involve your family in the process.
- Ask or accept help:- Whether they are family members or not, if you need help, ask and accept the help provided.
- Simple works:- For religious as well as non-religious funerals, the simple and natural ceremonies always work. The simple funerals are more about putting the deceased choice on the above.
There are typically three things that make up the Catholic funerals.
- On the day before the burial, there is a vigil or a wake service. The loved ones of the deceased gather around and pay their respects.
- On the day of burial, there is funeral liturgy which is often combined with the Catholic Mass. The close family and friends often meet before the Mass and set up a funeral procession.
- The last event is the Rite of Committal which happens after the burial at the cemetery. The friends and family say their goodbyes by placing flowers on the casket.
Wednesday, 6 June 2018
4 Things You Should Know About Pre-planning The Funeral By Michael Scarpaci
- Ease the burden on your family:- Keeping wishes unknown while you die is quite a burden on your family. It can make the decisions extremely difficult to take. From deciding if you want to be cremated or buried, to deciding to agree on the open and closed casket, pre-planning the funeral will make sure there is no confusion for the family. All the disagreement can be left behind by pre-planning your funeral.
- Assume the financial responsibility for the funeral:- One thing that put the unexpected burden on the family is the financial costs of the funerals. The funerals are costly affairs. Thus, pre-planning the funeral and leaving the amount behind for the funeral can help your family cover the costs and stay afloat while they grieve.
- Benefit of a meaningful funeral:- One of the most important affairs for any family is funeral. They give their deceased loved one an adieu. The funeral also gives a family closure and helps them heal. A meaningful funeral can help the family socially and emotionally as they can give the loved one a proper send off. This becomes quite difficult when the funeral has to be planned immediately.
- Your final wishes would be followed:- Along with the abovementioned benefis, a pre-planned funeral makes sure that your funeral is exactly how you want it. Whether you want a burial or particular epitaph written on your gravestone, everything would be done by the funeral house director and your family wouldn’t have the burden of selecting the funeral things for their loved one.
Monday, 14 May 2018
The Etiquette Of Funeral With Michael Scarpaci
While talking to someone from deceased ‘s family, it is quite easy to resort to the cliches. However, sometimes, cliches can be destructive and do more bad than good. Michael Scarpaci, manager of Scarpaci funeral homes in Brooklyn and Staten Island advises to follow these few points to have a healthy conversation with someone who has lost their loved one.
Start with making suggestions
The first thing you should is make suggestion rather than asking them. Do not ask them what they should do. Rather say, “Let me take care of your lawn” or “Let me pick some groceries for you”. It is difficult for the one who is grieving to ask friends, even family for help. If you see the opportunity to help, then just help.
Listen
While the griever might not be ready to discuss how they are feeling right now, but it is necessary that you keep an open ear for them whenever they want to talk. Just keep the offer of you being ready to listen open. When they want to talk, listen and remember not to interject with “you should”. Don’t give them tips on how they can lessen their grief or move on. Just let them speak what they want to. A griever can get lonely and making sure that the friend is there to listen to them helps a lot.
A few things that you should not say to the griever no matter what:
- “It was time” - No matter what happens, never say these words to the griever. This would mean that the loss of your friend is purposeful. It would make them worse than they did before.
- “This was all God’s plan” - Just like the one mentioned above, this is a no say. While it can be understood that there are things that we might not understand, saying that death of loved one is part of a plan is wrong.
Monday, 23 April 2018
Top Tips By Michael Scarpaci On Helping Your Loved Ones Cope With Grief
- Reach out:- The first thing that you should do is know how you can console them. For that, you need to let the person know that you are there for them. Take the first step. Call them, visit them or email them. All you need is to let them know that you are there for them.
- Listen more:- While it is a tough one, it is very important for you to listen to what they are feeling. Losing a loved one is hard and they need to be heard clearly. Try to listen intently and keep your body language open. But, needless to say, they won't easily open up and when they do they might cry for hours.
- Check-in:- Grief does not have a time table. It can go on for months and years. Make sure that you check in regularly and see how they are doing. You can ask them out for dinner or for a cup of coffee. This will help them cope with the loss.
- Reminisce:- Death of loved one is hard. Another thing that can help your loved ones move on with their lives is the memories of the loved one. Remembering the memories and sharing the stories of the deceased will help your loved ones understand that while the person may be gone their memories live on.
- Don't ignore:- Ignoring the person who is grieving will hurt them and make them feel that they are alone in the world. You don't need to there for them 24/7 but just let them know that they can count on you. Reaching out is better than ghosting the person and making them feel bad.
Check out https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8YCs1WGLyjM for more info.
Tuesday, 3 April 2018
6 tips by Michael Scarpaci to have a healthy funeral
Michael Scarpaci, the owner of Scarpaci funeral homes, has helped numerous families to move on after the death of their loved one and create a funeral. Here are a few tips are given by a funeral expert, Michael Scarpaci:
- Add family traditions:- The funeral is not meant to be sad. It is a celebration of the life of the deceased family member. If any member of your family has fond memories such as of annual vacation, board games or any family event, you should celebrate who they were. Any special memories should also be added. This would make the family members feel more close to the deceased family members.
- Keepsakes:- Majority of family members are opting for a funeral where they send the guests back with the keepsakes. The keepsakes could be anything: A family recipe, to baked good, favorite books or even something from the jewelry collection.
- Humor:- If your deceased family member was known for his humor, you can add a few funny punchlines were it would lighten the mood and give an uplifting feel to the service. You can also add music and play the song that makes you and the people in service feel attached to the deceased.
- Memory Table:- Small things make a big difference. You can also collect the items that your loved one used to love such as golf, puzzles or anything as such. The attendees can appreciate the life and the spirit of the loved one.
- College of photographs:- Another way to plan a funeral that would show your love for the deceased and help you move on is creating a collage. Displaying the pictures of your loved one would make you feel connected to them and help you find a way to move through the grief you are experiencing.
- Special Send-Off:- People also try to give the deceased family member a special send-off by releasing doves or butterflies or planting trees.
Read More Michael scarpaci and finding the right headstones by Michael - Issuu