What to Say while Attending a Funeral?

Expressing yourselves might be a hard task for many of us, especially at events like funerals. It is hard to find the words of sympathy, especially when you are in a state of grief. We get anxious the moment we try to express ourselves and how others will perceive it. You might be wondering that is there a better way to say it? Will they be upset if I say something wrong? According to Michael Scarpaci, a stakeholder at funeral services in Staten Island, there are a few things that you can on a funeral to honor the deceased without hurting the sentiments of anyone.

The first thing you must keep in mind is that you are there to support them. Losing a loved one all of a sudden can be stressful for the family members. The words should come straight from the heart, and the grieving must know that you are with them during thick and thin.

What to say at a funeral?

Try to stay as much relaxed as possible while grieving, and you don't have to say anything perfect. Words must be expressed from the heart.

Michael Scarpaci has given different examples that can be used to express the thoughts at a funeral:

I am sorry for the loss.
You and your near and dear ones are in my thoughts and prayers
If your family needs anything, I am there for you.
(Insert Name) brought joy to everyone and will be truly missed.

Try not to say the following things:
He or she is in a better place now
I know how you feel
At least the deceased is no longer suffering
Be strong
It is time for him to go

Finding the words of sympathy at a funeral is a delicate issue, says Michael Scarpaci. They must be planned before expressing them to the family of the deceased to avoid hurting their sentiments.

Funeral Etiquettes by Scarpaci Funeral Home Services

During funerals, family and loved ones come together to mourn the loss of a loved one. It can be hard on people when the loss is unexpected, as it can even take a toll on their health. Funerals are a sensitive matter. Hence it is expected that proper behavior is shown while attending the funeral of a deceased. It includes dressing up well and showing compassion while visiting the funeral home to show utmost respect to the dead. Hiring the services of a trustworthy funeral home is also essential to conduct the event smoothly. Michael Scarpaci shares a few etiquettes that you must obey while visiting a funeral service:

Cell phone manners - Keeping your phone on ringing mode is not acceptable while attending a funeral as it is a very intimate event. It is advised to limit attending calls during the event or to only participate in urgent needs.
 

Bringing kids to the funeral - If you have children at home who are relatively young to follow appropriate funeral behavior, then it is advised not to bring them along. Funeral services can be difficult for children to infer, so you must avoid tagging them along. Michael Scarpaci explains that funeral services can be intimidating for children. They may not be prepared to deal with such a situation so early in their lives. So it’s better to hire a babysitter for a couple of hours.
 

Do not post on social media - Funerals can be a very personal event. Relatives of the deceased such as cousins might come together to console each other. Make sure you don’t start posting pictures and videos on social media as it might be an invasion of privacy. Staying low key is the best resort while attending funerals.
 

Funerals can be tough to attend, as an individual has to go through a lot emotionally. Death might come as a sudden shock if it is unexpected. Hence you must try to be decisive and take care of the loved ones of the deceased. Planning the funeral at an excellent funeral home such as Scarpaci funeral home in Staten Island helps you get rid of unnecessary hassle during a funeral.

How To Deliver A Great Eulogy?

Losing a loved one is the hardest thing in the world to deal with. Michael Scarpaci, a stakeholder of Scarpaci Funeral Home, says that even though they organize a dozen funerals and memorial services every month, they still find it hard to see a family losing their loved ones. He mentions that death is inevitable, which is true. If there is anything that’s certain in our life is our death.

If you have lost a loved one recently, it must be an extremely stressful time for you and the deceased’s family. But the best way to cope with the death of a loved one is to celebrate their life one last time. Funerals and memorial services are a great way to say a final goodbye to them while celebrating the deceased’s rich and beautiful life. If you have gotten the honor of delivering a eulogy at the funeral service, you can make the best use of this opportunity to honor the life of the deceased.

Michael Scarpaci says, “A eulogy is a lot more than just a few words.” He further adds, “We see many people delivering a eulogy at funerals every day, and it’s something that shows how much you cared about the deceased and what kind of the bond you two shared.” Moreover, whatever you say in your eulogy will stay with the bereaved family forever. Therefore, it’s important to deliver a great eulogy that touches hearts and does not offend anybody.

Here are some tips to help you write a great eulogy

• Prepare your notes well in advance

Delivering a eulogy is a big thing. Therefore, you do not want to take it for granted. Make sure you spend time in writing one. Always prepare notes of what you are going to say, even if you plan to ditch your notes while delivering. It’s a great way to focus on your thoughts and ensure you are not missing anything important.

• Be personal and conversational 

This is not a formal speech; it’s an honor. You are getting an opportunity to share how you feel and how much the deceased touched your life.

• Don’t shy away from taking help 

Writing and delivering a eulogy can be extremely stressful. After all, it’s not easy to lose a loved one. Therefore, it’s okay to take help from your friends and family. This will also give you support and encouragement to keep going.

Remember, people attending the funeral share some memories with the deceased. So don’t forget to address them.

Different uses of funeral flowers after the service

Flowers have been planning an important role in funeral traditions for thousands of years. According to Michael Scarpaci, manager of Scarpaci funeral home in Staten Island, they not only symbolize the life cycle but also bring a sense of comfort. Funeral wreaths and funeral flowers are the best way to celebrate the life of your loved one and to express sympathy. However, many people have this question about what to do with funeral flowers after the service. Here Michael Scarpaci has given some of the ways to reuse funeral flowers. 

Get them framed - The best way to use the flowers sent in memory of your loved one is by drying and framing them. This is a very special token of remembrance. 

What type of paper you should use to dry the flowers?

While carrying out the drying process, you need to dry out the flowers as quickly as possible before they turn brown. You can do it by using newspaper, printing paper, blotting paper, facial tissue or flat cardboard. There are two ways to press flowers including using a book and using a wooden flower press. 

Using a book - In this method, you require an absorbent paper and a heavy book. Since the flowers pigment can stain the pages of the book, it is advisable to use paper on each side of the flowers.

Using a wooden flower press - Nowadays, there are plenty of flower press kits available online, which come with their own sets of instructions. 

Potpourri - It is such a beautiful thing to have the natural fragrance of flowers lingering in your establishment. Since Medieval times, potpourri has been used in homes. In the past, dried lavender was used to refresh bedrooms and laundry. After the service, you can use funeral flowers to make homemade potpourri. The process of making potpourri is very easy, and all you need are flowers, scissors, baking tray, parchment paper, and home fragrance oils. 

Pressed flower cards - Often, people feel out of touch with family and close friends after their loved one’s funeral. You can create beautiful handmade cards using pressed flowers from your loved one’s funeral, and send them to your dear ones. It is a personal as well as a sentimental way to show your love and to thank your loved ones for being firm support all through the funeral services.

Make a centerpiece or wreath - Another best way to repurpose funeral flowers by making little remembrance bouquets for all the funeral ceremony attendees, it is the most beautiful way to show your gratitude. Or you can send these bouquets to hospitals and care homes.

Do you need more ideas to use funeral flowers after the service? Consult Michael Scarpaci. 

Tips Of Being A Pallbearer By Michael Scarpaci

Nowadays, people are aware of all funeral etiquettes. They are also much familiar with the role of a pallbearer in the funeral services. If anyone of your close relative or friend has passed away, you may be asked to serve as a pallbearer in the funeral service. Have no idea about a pallbearer? - A pallbearer is usually responsible for carrying the casket from the funeral home to the hearse. Michael Scarpaci, the manager of Scarpaci funeral home in Staten Island, says that if someone is asked to become a pallbearer, one should consider it an honor. It is like the deceased’s family is putting their trust on you to carry the casket carefully to its destination. 

If you’ve already accepted to become a pallbearer, Michael Scarpaci explains below the tips to become a pallbearer in the funeral service.

• If you got doubt about anything approaches the funeral director - Well, the funeral director has been doing this since a while.  So, they may know almost everything. If you still have any doubt, feel free to approach the funeral director for help and advice. They will tell you all from how to transport the casket safely to when you will be taking your pallbearer duties, where to stand/sit, brief you about your role at the cemetery, and anything else you’re not familiar with.

• Be the one who arrives early and leaves late - If you’re asked to become a pallbearer, make sure you arrive at the service at least 15 minutes early. You don’t want to become a reason for stress on the family thinking whether you reach before the service or not. Also, try to leave the place a bit late. As you’re representative of the funeral ceremony, if you stay back and attend the guests will a great thing for the family.

• Dress formally - Dressing formally is one of the etiquettes people have to follow while attending a funeral ceremony. Being a pallbearer, it becomes more important to wear a dark suit, tie, and shoes. Make sure you have a decent hairstyle and avoid too much jewelry on the funeral service.

• Take your assigned place - Usually, a special section in the front is reserved for the pallbearer to sit during the funeral ceremony. Unless there is an urgency for you to go behind otherwise, try to be with the other pallbearers for the funeral.

• Consider it as a responsibility and honor - As a pallbearer, you got one of the most significant duties of the funeral ceremony. Accept it with respect and dignity.

• Relax, don’t fret! - Don’t panic with the thought of dropping the casket! All you need is to relax. The funeral director and staff will take care that you prepared enough for the task.

If you ever get the chance to become a pallbearer, accept it with dignity and honor. It is the most crucial role in the funeral ceremony.

Michael Scarpaci on why should you have the funeral service for the deceased?

It has become very common for people to dismiss the traditional funeral. Nowadays, they skip the ceremony and go straight to the cremation or burial. What they don’t realize that funeral services have a lot of value.

Why should you opt for the funeral service?
The traditional funeral service is so much more than rituals. Michael Scarpaci, owner of Scarpaci funeral homes in New York advice that the majority of rituals have stood the test of time and should not be dismissed. The rituals of the funeral give the mourners the chance to support each other through the testing time. Remember, the funeral service isn’t for the deceased. It is for the survivors.

Funeral Service

Customization
As each family is different, so is the funeral service. There was a time when the funeral service would mean sitting in the church pews and listening to people give speeches about the diseased. However, now the funerals are entirely customizable. You can incorporate the music, create memory presentations and even broadcast the entire funeral service to the relatives abroad. No matter how different or unique you want the funeral service to be, everything can be done.

All faiths are welcome
The best part of about the funeral service is that it can be attended by the people of all faiths. If you are not a religious family, you can opt for the funeral service to be held anywhere you want. All you need is a room big enough for the casket and the people in attendance. The service can be officiated by the celebrant, friends, family member or any individual you think is perfect for the job. Funeral directors know how the funerals work and are well-versed in all the aspects.

Honoring the dead
No matter what kind of funeral service you want, when it comes about celebrating the life of deceased the best way is to honor them. No matter how old the deceased is, you have to honor them and surround yourself with the people who loved them. The road towards being normal is enough. It is a long and arduous grieving journey.

The loss of a beloved is difficult. You have to remember that you cannot let the pain of death overcome you. Death will drain the family and friends physically and emotionally. Thus, it is necessary that you take care of yourself.

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