Insight into memorial service etiquette by Michael Scarpaci

Memorial services are important says Michael Scarpaci. 

Scarpaci Funeral Home in Staten Island, Michael Scarpaci understands that it’s stressful for both friends and family to deal with the loss of a loved one. The funeral or memorial service time is very vulnerable, and people are still high on emotions. In such a condition, even the smallest mistake can cause an outburst. Hence, it is extremely important for you to behave properly at the memorial service and respect all the rules. 

What are memorial services? - These rituals usually take place in the absence of the body after it has been cremated or buried. This service involves people saying prayers, singing songs, delivering eulogies, and reading passages from the scripture. 

Memorial service is a somber occasion. Therefore, if you behave or dress inappropriately, it can hurt the feelings of the deceased’s family and friends.  

If you have a memorial ceremony to attend and it's your first time, here are the memorial service etiquette you need to know.  

Where to sit? 

The venues for memorial service can range from a theater to fire station, cultural arts hall, restaurant, and a nature preserve. If it's your first time to a memorial ceremony, it is important to know that the front seats in the memorial service are usually reserved for the family and intermediate relatives. And other guests can sit anywhere. However, if you arrive late for the funeral service, make sure you take a place at the back without disturbing others.  

How to dress up? 

Well, the place and time play an important role in deciding the dress code for the memorial service. For example, if the service takes place on a beach, lose those high heels. Overall, you can dress formally for the service. These days, families even have a dress code for the memorial service, so make sure you follow the dress code and dress accordingly. 

What to say?

The main purpose of having a memorial service is about sharing memories about the deceased person. This includes who the deceased was and talking about the good and positive things. If you have any beautiful memories related to the deceased person, memorial service is an ideal place to share it with the deceased's friends and family. 

In fact, some people even organize an open mic at a memorial service where guests can speak publicly about the memorable moments with the deceased. If you’re not comfortable talking publicly, you can share your best thoughts with the deceased’s family in private. But make sure, keep it real. Using canned phrases such as “ she’s in a better place” or “I know how you feel right now,” can make things worse than comforting. 

The bottom line

Usually, a memorial service is organized to honor and remember the deceased loved one. And every guest should behave properly to avoid making it more stressful for the deceased’s family and close friends. These are some of the things you need to consider while attending a memorial service. 

For more tips and suggestions about memorial or funeral service, consult Michael Scarpaci. 

Frequently asked questions about funeral pre-planning By Michael Scarpaci

According to Michael Scarpaci, Scarpaci funeral home in Staten Island recommends people to opt for a pre-planned funeral. This is because pre-planning your own funeral lessens the burden of planning your funeral on loved ones. And it also gives you the opportunity to put your preferences in the funeral service plan. Hence, you can plan your funeral service depending on how you want others to remember you.

However, as you initiate your funeral pre-planning process, you’ll have queries about payment plans, services and more. To help you with the same, Michael Scarpaci explains some of the common questions about funeral pre-planning.

What benefits will I get with funeral pre-planning? 

Planning a funeral is one of the most stressful things for the family who’s already grieving due to the loss of a loved one. Apart from this, arranging a funeral service can also be one of the most expensive affairs. Therefore, by pre-planning your own funeral, you can relieve your family from arranging your funeral service. This will help lessen the burden both financial and emotional that your family may face while planning a funeral. 

Besides this, the other benefits of choosing a funeral pre-planning include:

You have the opportunity to choose between burial or cremation.

You get to choose the services, such as visitation, gathering, funeral or memorial services.

You can choose your own headstone, casket, and cremation urn.

Personal touches like favorite music and photos. 

Is it ok to prepay for the funeral?

Although it’s not required, many people who choose funeral pre-planning service also repay the costs involved. However, if you’re also considering prepaying for your funeral, make sure the service is backed with a guarantee that the costs of the items or services will not increase. 

Depending on the funeral home you are working with, you can either pre-pay for your funeral the total amount or through installments.

Is it possible to transfer the pre-arranged funeral plan to another funeral home?

According to the United States funeral rules, you can transfer your pre-planned funeral plans to another funeral home at any time. And the amount you agreed to pay when you started your funeral pre-planning process is final. However, it’s important to know that due to some conditions, you may not get a refund for a cost difference. This means if you transfer your funeral plan with higher rates, you’re required to pay the remaining balance. 

“Pre-plan your funeral and relieve your loved ones from the funeral burden,” says, Michael Scarpaci. If you need any guidance regarding funeral pre-planning, consult the funeral expert, Michael Scarpaci.  

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Michael Scarpaci: How to choose the final outfit for your deceased loved one?

Scarpaci funeral home in Staten Island, understands the pain of losing a loved one. And he knows, when it comes to the funeral ceremony, there is so much that goes into planning and arranging. At times, it can be overwhelming for the family members who are already going through a difficult phase. 

While arranging a funeral, people often forget to pay attention to what will be the final outfit for the deceased. If you’ve lost a loved one and they didn’t make their preferences clear, follow these guidelines by Michael Scarpaci to choose final clothing for your loved one. 

Casual or formal? 

While choosing the final outfit for your loved one, consider their personality and the type of memorial service you are hosting. For instance, if the funeral service is more traditional, then you can go with formal clothing, such as their favorite suit or dress. On the contrary, for non-traditional funeral service, it’s absolutely alright to choose an outfit that is more casual, says, Michael Scarpaci. This means the final outfit could be anything from the deceased’s favorite holiday sweater to their lucky hat and favorite sports jerseys. But make sure whatever you choose, it goes with the personality of your loved one and the type of memorial service organized. 

Religious considerations - If the funeral ceremony involves any religious or cultural customs, it’s important you pick clothing that goes well with the religious traditions. The best way to do that is to consult the religious leaders in your community and ask about the specific dress that your deceased should wear during the service. 

Special items to bring for the loved ones - Sometimes people have a wish to be buried or wearing special things such as wedding or engagement rings, and their favorite jewelry and accessories. These things and items can make the funeral more personalized. Other common items include:

• Pictures
• Letters to the deceased
• Favorite books

Remember, if your deceased body will be cremated, all metal must be removed from the body before the cremation. 

These are some of the things you need to consider while choosing the final outfit for your loved one. However, if you still find yourself wondering which is the appropriate clothing for the deceased loved one, consult Michael Scarpaci. 

5 ideas by Michael Scarpaci to make your loved one’s funeral personalized

Losing a loved one is never easy for anyone. However, there are ways you can make the funeral service of your loved one special and personalized. 

According to Michael Scarpaci, manager of Scarpaci funeral home in Staten Island, from displaying photographs to music and mementos, there are many ways to give your loved a special farewell. 

Let’s see the top 5 ideas to make a funeral service personalized. 

Photo display - If you’re looking for an idea to personalize a funeral service, displaying different types of photos is a good way to get started. Unlike most funerals where photos are displayed formally, you can choose a more creative way to display photos. For example, you can make a collage of your favorite photos of your loved one. It is a good way to encourage people to share their memories with the deceased person.  

Personalized floral arrangements - The next idea is using personalized floral arrangements to make your loved one’s funeral unique and special. To do this, you can use little accessories in flower arrangements, including your loved one’s favorite coffee mug or fishing tackle if you’re loved one enjoyed fishing. There are various ways to personalize floral arrangements. To know more, consult Michael Scarpaci. 

Play your loved one’s favorite song - Michael Scarpaci understands that a funeral is remorse and grieving time for friends and family, but he says it is also the time to celebrate your loved one’s life. To do so, you can even play a favorite song of the deceased person. Doesn’t matter whether the song is traditionally regarded as appropriate for the funeral or not. If it’s your loved one’s favorite song, then it is perfect in all ways. 

Use clothing - Nowadays, people follow a trend of using pieces of clothing that the deceased person used to wear. This is another way to personalize a funeral service. They often turn their loved one’s clothes into pillows or small sachets so that they can stay close to them all the time. Or use them at the funeral service to make the occasion more personalized. 

Gifts for guests - Another excellent way to personalize a service is to offer gifts to the funeral attendees. Mementos to guests not only personalize a service but also give guests a small keepsake. You can choose a small photo magnet or a bookmark with a favorite poem. 

These are some of the ways to personalize a funeral service. If you need more ideas and suggestions, consult Michael Scarpaci. 

Insight into the importance of death certificates by Michael Scarpaci

According to Michael Scarpaci, the manager of Scarpaci funeral home in Staten Island, a death certificate is a document that states the location of death, cause of death, time of death and other personal information about the person who has died. It is mandatory in New York to register the death with the State Department of Health and Vital Statistics at the earliest. You can get the copies of the death certificate from the vital records office. 

Here are the top reasons by Michael Scarpaci why do you need a death certificate.

Although there are several reasons why do you need to obtain a death certificate, mostly it is used as a proof of death for legal purposes. Some of the common reasons include:

• Veterans benefits
• Insurance policies
• Property ownership 
• Social Security Administration
• Testament and Last Will
• Union benefits
• Pension plans
• Treasury Bills 
• Individual Retirement Account
• Safe deposit box
• Bonds, stocks, or brokerage accounts
• The beneficiary of a savings account 
• Internal Revenue Service
• Post office 

Who can get death certificates?

People who are eligible to receive death certificates include:

• Children
• Parents
• Spouses
• Grandchildren
• Legal guardians 
• Siblings
• State and Federal agencies for legal purposes

However, while submitting the application to the office of vital statistics or the registrar, you may be required to provide the proof of your relationship to the deceased person. This documentation includes a birth certificate or letter stating who the applicant is representing and how they are related to the person.

How can you obtain copies of death certificates? 

Typically, there are three ways you can obtain certified copies of a death certificate:

1. You can get it through the funeral home that manages the funeral or memorial service arrangements.
2. With the help of the Department of Health’s Vital Statistics and Registry website.
3. From the local registrar at the municipality where the death occurred. 

What is the cost of death certificates? 

Currently, the State’s Registrar charge $25 for the first copy, while $2 for each additional copy. The state registrar will issue the death certificates and directly send them to the funeral home through the mail. 

To know more about death certificates, Michael Scarpaci co-owner of Scarpaci funeral home in Staten Island. 

Different uses of funeral flowers after the service

Flowers have been planning an important role in funeral traditions for thousands of years. According to Michael Scarpaci, manager of Scarpaci funeral home in Staten Island, they not only symbolize the life cycle but also bring a sense of comfort. Funeral wreaths and funeral flowers are the best way to celebrate the life of your loved one and to express sympathy. However, many people have this question about what to do with funeral flowers after the service. Here Michael Scarpaci has given some of the ways to reuse funeral flowers. 

Get them framed - The best way to use the flowers sent in memory of your loved one is by drying and framing them. This is a very special token of remembrance. 

What type of paper you should use to dry the flowers?

While carrying out the drying process, you need to dry out the flowers as quickly as possible before they turn brown. You can do it by using newspaper, printing paper, blotting paper, facial tissue or flat cardboard. There are two ways to press flowers including using a book and using a wooden flower press. 

Using a book - In this method, you require an absorbent paper and a heavy book. Since the flowers pigment can stain the pages of the book, it is advisable to use paper on each side of the flowers.

Using a wooden flower press - Nowadays, there are plenty of flower press kits available online, which come with their own sets of instructions. 

Potpourri - It is such a beautiful thing to have the natural fragrance of flowers lingering in your establishment. Since Medieval times, potpourri has been used in homes. In the past, dried lavender was used to refresh bedrooms and laundry. After the service, you can use funeral flowers to make homemade potpourri. The process of making potpourri is very easy, and all you need are flowers, scissors, baking tray, parchment paper, and home fragrance oils. 

Pressed flower cards - Often, people feel out of touch with family and close friends after their loved one’s funeral. You can create beautiful handmade cards using pressed flowers from your loved one’s funeral, and send them to your dear ones. It is a personal as well as a sentimental way to show your love and to thank your loved ones for being firm support all through the funeral services.

Make a centerpiece or wreath - Another best way to repurpose funeral flowers by making little remembrance bouquets for all the funeral ceremony attendees, it is the most beautiful way to show your gratitude. Or you can send these bouquets to hospitals and care homes.

Do you need more ideas to use funeral flowers after the service? Consult Michael Scarpaci. 

Best options by Michael Scarpaci to scatter ashes

According to Michael Scarpaci, manager of Scarpaci funeral home in Staten Island, there are various things you can do with your loved one’s remains after the cremation. Although the options include burying the ashes in a graveyard, entombing them in a columbarium, or storing them in an urn at home, some people choose to scatter their loved one’s ashes.  If you’ve no idea about where to scatter the ashes of a loved one, don’t worry! Below Michael Scarpaci has explained some of the most popular places to scatter ashes.

Private land - One of the best places to scatter your loved one’s ashes is private land, including a field or garden. If you’re considering this option, make sure you take the prior permission from the landowner. Also, consider visiting rights. For instance, if you choose to scatter ashes in your garden, and you move house, many years later you will not have any right to right to visit that place.

Rivers - Another popular place for scattering ashes is streams or rivers or lakes. Well, when it comes to rivers, you don’t need any permission to scatter your loved one’s ashes. However, Michael Scarpaci advises checking with the Environment Agency about the stretch of the river you’re considering to use.

Nowadays, some people also cut flowers or petals in the ashes to mark the occasion as one of remembrance and to see the ashes flow down the river. But, you should avoid casting plastic flowers or wreaths into the river because this will pollute the water body as well as the environment.

Sea - As compared to a burial at sea, scattering ashes at sea is an affordable option. This is because burial at sea requires a license and special coffin. The good thing about scattering ashes at sea and many coastlines and beaches is that it doesn’t require any license. Plus, scattering ashes at sea is accessible to the public. However, you need to consider people who use the beach and choose it as a spot away from fishermen and swimmers. Before you scatter ashes, also get yourself familiar with wind conditions.

Mountains and hilltops - Mountains and hilltops are one of the most beautiful settings to say goodbye to your loved one. But, you need to consider some of the things before scattering ashes on the mountains and hilltops. Cremation ashes are not toxic, but they can have a serious impact on plant life. Therefore, you need to avoid scattering ashes on mountain peaks with fragile plant ecosystems.

Plus, also consider that popular beauty climbs and spots may have several visitors and it may be difficult to a private place to say goodbye. As hilltops and mountains are very windy, so stand upwind while scattering the ashes.

Lastly, there is no particular rule to scatter ashes all in one place. You can scatter ashes of your loved ones in portions. For more information on scattering ashes, approach Michael Scarpaci.